I am currently in a book club with a group of women where we are studying the book: Boundaries. As I am reading this book, I am thinking of all the ways that the lack of boundaries leads to a cluttered life.
Boundaries with people- This is about letting what I like to call, Energy Drainers, into your life. Energy Drainers are people that always take and rarely give. They bring you down instead of life you up. They make you feel bad about yourself. Most importantly they don’t respect your time or even who you are. We all have a certain amount of energy and when you use too much of that energy on Energy Drainers you have very little left to spend on getting your life organized.
Boundaries with stuff- We all need limits when it comes to stuff. A boundary can be as simple as “this one plastic bin is all I need for memorabilia” “I can not go outside of this one container”. I use limits all of the time when I am helping clients get organized and a limit is just another word for boundary!
Boundaries with Our Time: Saying No- According to the author ” People with poor boundaries struggle with saying no to the control, pressure, demands and sometimes needs of others. They feel that if they say no they will endanger their relationship with that person….Sometimes a person is pressuring you to do something; other times the pressure comes from your own sense of what you “should” do.
Many people struggle with saying no. But you KNOW what? Sometime saying “no” is a gift we give ourselves. Sometimes by saying “no” we preserve our time which helps us focus that time on our own priorities. By getting comfortable with saying no, you will spend less time doing things you dread and will open up time that you can use to do things that make you happy.
Boundaries with Spending- We live in a society where is actually normal to spend money we don’t have! We mortgage our houses, open up credit cards and finance our automobiles all in an effort to have THINGS. Many times, when we are shopping, we spend because for those 10 minutes we feel joy. The problem is that this just leads to more STUFF coming in the house which will add to the clutter that is already out of control! We need to set clear boundaries on our spending habits not only so that we can save money but so that we can control the clutter in our lives. We all over spend from time to time. But when you are avoiding your bank statement, running up high credit card bills or shopping to fill a void you most likely have a problem.
Boundaries with Eating- I am always reminding people that “clutter comes in all shapes and forms”. One of those forms is excess weight! We need to have boundaries with our eating. What we will eat, what we won’t eat and how much we should eat.
It is funny how this book has made me think. I think many of us feel guilty when we draw a boundary line but I have learned that we HAVE to set boundaries in order to live happier, healthier, more productive and rewarding lives! What are your thoughts about boundaries? Is it hard for you to set them?