As a Friend, Are You the Driver or the Passenger?


Friendships take work, much like a marriage.  Part of that work is making time to spend with each other.  We were not made to walk this earth alone.  God created us to be in relationship with other people.  Women especially were made for this and were given a desire to spend time with others talking, laughing, sharing and connecting.

Lately I have been wondering if women know if they are the driver in a friendship or the passenger.  I think women tend to fall in one category most of the time or the other.  We ALL feel very busy and at times overwhelmed with just keeping up with life’s basics: the cleaning, cooking, laundry, work, driving the kids, maybe a spouse and SO much more.   Sometimes women just feel too darn tired to add another thing to their plate!  They FEEL like they don’t have the time. But the truth is we all have the time, actually the same amount of time…it is how we use that time that will determine what kind of life we are living.

When you look at your relationships with friends would you say you are more of the driver or the passenger? Now I am not talking about all of your friends or acquaintances I am speaking only of the women that you would consider your closest or best friends.

The Driver:

-Intitates most of the planning.

-Makes the majority of the calls.

-Loves to entertain and practice hospitality.

-Is a social and outgoing person.

The Passenger:

-Not as interested in entertaining but still loves to get together if they get invited.

-Friendships are important but not at the top of her priority list.

-May feel that she is not sure what to plan or feels she is not good at making the plans.

-Most of the time is just along for the ride meaning that she will go wherever her driver takes her but usually waits to get “picked up” instead of “offering a ride”.  This is all figuratively speaking of course 🙂

-Sometimes has trouble stepping out of her comfort zone.

I am working on a new book (yes very excited)!  It is all about how to live an intentionally balanced and organized life.  Throughout this stage of writing I will be sharing many of my thoughts and ideas here on the blog.  Balancing friendships is just one of the things I will be writing about so I can’t wait to hear from all of you on this topic!

Do you tell yourself when the kids are out of the house you will have time for your friends?

Are you dreaming of retirement when you no longer have to work everyday and can start having more fun with friends?

In your opinion, how much time does it take to stay in a close friendship with someone?

I think it depends on the friendship.  Some will always pick up right where they left off and some will feel awkward if too much time goes by.

Do you have the attitude of “I’ll see you when I see you” or are you really good at making time for your friends and feel disconnected if too much time goes by?

I think this season of Thanksgiving is the perfect chance to spend a few minutes thinking about the friendships that are important in your life.

  1. Make a list of the 5 friendships that are truly important to you.  Research shows that you  are like the 5 people you spend the most time with so write your list wisely.
  2. Next to their name write why this relationship is so important to you.  This way next time it has been awhile since you have spent time with this person, you can read this and remember why it is important that you make time for them.
  3. Now write a new list of at least 3 people that you currently would like to get to know better.
  4. Finally, grab your calendar and your phone.  Find some open time…even if it is an hour!  Make a call or shoot a text and plan some time with your friend.

Jennifer Ford Berry

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Hi there! I am Jennifer Ford Berry or some people like to call me "Life's Organization Expert". I am super passionate about helping people get organized and stay that way! I have written a series of books called Organize Now! I contribute my organizing tips to National magazines, radio and TV shows. I am here to help you realize that your life is not about is about living! YOU can live an organized, healthy and exciting life one baby step at a time. Let me show you how!

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