The Art of Allowing (Ep 203)

Life often feels like a tug-of-war between what we want to happen and what actually does. But what if we could let go of the constant battle? What if we allowed life to unfold as it will, trusting that things will fall into place? This idea, known as the art of allowing, has changed my outlook and how I face challenges. Let me share how this practice has helped me worry less, imagine the best, and create a more peaceful life.

Why Worry Is a Drain on Your Energy

Worrying is exhausting. As a mom with kids who’ve left the nest, I found myself stuck in worst-case-scenario thinking. My mind would spiral, imagining all the things that could go wrong for my children, even though most of those fears never came true. Sound familiar?

Worrying gives us the illusion of control, but in reality, it controls us. It’s like watching the same bad movie in your head over and over, even when you know the ending. I realized I needed a new strategy. And instead of focusing on everything that could go wrong, I decided to retrain my mind to focus on what could go right.

Introducing the Art of Allowing

The art of allowing is about letting go. It’s about stopping the endless push to control outcomes and simply allowing life to unfold. This practice doesn’t mean giving up or doing nothing. It means trusting the process and focusing your energy only on what you can control—your thoughts and actions.

I first came across this term in one of Abraham Hicks’s books, and it resonated deeply. Allowing means understanding that things are happening for you, not to you. It’s about believing that life will work out, even if it’s not the way you expected.

Shifting to the best-case scenario

To really embrace the art of allowing, I’ve had to break a big habit: imagining the worst-case scenario. Instead of wasting energy on "what if" worries, I now use that same energy to imagine the best-case scenario.

Here’s how it works:

1. When my brain starts to spiral into negativity, I press pause.
2. I flip the script and ask, "What’s the best thing that could happen here?"
3. I let myself feel what it would be like if things worked out perfectly.

It’s not always easy—especially when you’re used to imagining the worst—but with practice, it gets easier.

A Real-Life Example

Earlier this year, my family purchased an investment property under a tight deadline. At first, everything seemed to fall into place effortlessly. The house seemed perfect—just what we needed. But as the closing date approached, issues started to pop up.

My old habit kicked in, and I began to panic. What if the deal fell through? What if the kids didn’t have a place to stay? What if I’d made a huge mistake?

Then I stopped myself. Instead of giving in to the stress, I practiced the art of allowing and focused on the best-case scenario. I pictured myself walking through the house, seeing the smiles on the kids’ faces, and feeling gratitude for everything working out.

Spoiler alert: It all came together in the end—just in time. The house closed, the kids moved in, and the experience taught me the power of letting go and trusting the process.

The Art of Allowing in Relationships

Allowing isn’t just for big life decisions. It’s a powerful tool for improving relationships too. How many times have you felt frustrated because someone didn’t act the way you wanted them to?

Here’s the truth: You can’t change other people. You can only control yourself. Allowing others to be who they are—without trying to fix or change them—is incredibly freeing.

This doesn’t mean you have to accept poor treatment. Boundaries are important. But allowing means letting go of the need to micromanage how others behave. It’s recognizing that everyone has their own journey, and their actions aren’t yours to control.

A Relationship Lesson

Recently, I had to let go of a relationship that wasn’t serving me. The other person wasn’t putting in any effort, and instead of trying to "fix" things, I decided to let it be.

I focused on what I could control—my own energy and actions. It wasn’t easy, but it brought me peace. Allowing helped me realize that sometimes, the best thing you can do is step back and let others live their lives while you focus on yours.

The Benefits of Allowing

Practicing the art of allowing brings a sense of freedom. Here’s what I’ve noticed:

• Lower Stress: Letting go of control reduces anxiety and overthinking.
• Stronger Relationships: You stop trying to mold people into what you think they should be.
• More Energy: You conserve energy for things that really matter.
• Better Outcomes: When you focus on the best-case scenario, you’re more likely to attract it.

Allowing is like watching the tide come in and out. You let things flow naturally instead of fighting the current.

How to Start Practicing Allowing

Ready to give it a try? Here are some simple steps:

1. Pause and Reflect: When you feel anxious or frustrated, pause. Ask yourself, "Am I trying to control something I can’t?"
2. Imagine the Best Case Scenario: Let yourself dream of the most positive outcome.
3. Focus on Your Own Actions: Shift your energy toward what you can control—your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
4. Set Boundaries: Allowing doesn’t mean accepting negativity. Protect your energy with healthy boundaries.
5. Trust the Process: Remind yourself that life has a way of working itself out.

Let Go and Watch Life Unfold

The art of allowing isn’t about doing less—it’s about worrying less. It’s about trusting that life will unfold as it’s meant to and focusing on creating the life you want instead of fearing what might happen.

When you let go of the need to control everything, you free yourself to enjoy the moment and appreciate what’s in front of you. Allowing is a gift you give yourself—and one that can ripple into every area of your life.

So, what’s one situation where you can practice allowing today? Try it, and see how it changes your perspective.

Life is too short to spend it caught in worry. Let it be, focus on what you can control, and watch the best-case scenario become your reality.