Yesterday my dear friend Kim hosted a “We Be Ball’n” party and let me tell you we had a blast! What in the world is a “We Be Ball’n” party you ask? Well, it is a class/party in which you learn how to make all sorts of protein balls. Perfect if you have a family that needs to cut down on cookies and granola bars. We learned there are a ton of different ways to make these healthy and delicious balls, ask our GF Jenna who is our teacher of all things health. Oh, you don’t know Jenna? She owns the We Be Ball’n Facebook page silly so ask her!
But this post is not about protein balls or any balls for that matter.
Yesterday got me thinking about a specific topic. Are we making enough time for our girlfriends? Those women in our life that we will need when we have a terrible day.
Yes in case you haven’t heard of this it is a real thing! Do you want to know something crazy? I had never heard of it until I started writing this blog post. Seriously! I wanted to do a little research about women and their friendships and this term popped up!
Do you want to know something even crazier? I am writing this on February 12th so that I can edit and post it on February 13th which happens to be GALENTINE’S Day! ??!!??!! Man God’s timing is always perfect!
Life is tough! You know that. And the only one that is going to get you and I mean REALLY get you is another woman. When that day comes, and you are crying on the floor because your marriage is on the rocks or you found out someone you love has cancer you are going to need a friend. Maybe your teenager is going through something significant and you have no idea how to handle it, you are going to need a girlfriend to give you a pep talk. There will be days when you need her to remind you that you are strong, capable and loved.
But having a relationship like that takes effort and time. And not just one or twice a year I mean the intentional commitment to each other. Any good relationship takes this type of dedication and work.
So how do we have relationships like this?
We make time instead of making excuses.
Have you made excuses for why you don’t see your girlfriends enough? Do your friends make excuses? Here are some of the reasons I have heard in the past:
- 1. I am too busy. I have so much to do.
- 2. My house isn’t big enough, clean enough or organized enough to have people over.
- 3. I don’t have the money to go out.
- 4. I have social anxiety.
- 5. I am feeling too insecure lately.
- 6. I want to reach out, but I am not sure how she will respond.
Ladies, deep down we are all very similar. Here is the real truth:
- 1. We are ALL busy.
- 2. Women don’t care what your house looks like they are just happy to get out of their own.
- 3. You don’t need money. Ask your friend to meet you for a walk. A walk with a good friend fills my soul up.
- 4. If you are feeling anxiety be honest and stick with one on one meetups.
- 5. We all have things that make us feel insecure, and that is OK. A good friend will lift you and encourage you when you are feeling down. It is the best medicine for insecurity.
- 6. Girlfriend, do not avoid making the call because you are afraid to put yourself out there. I bet the other woman is thinking the same thing but is afraid to put herself out there. Be bold! If she doesn’t want to put the effort in you, know this is not the type of friendship you need. So move on and invest in someone that will want to put in the time.
I will be honest with you I have girlfriends that are good at making time, and I have some that are bad. You know the ones…you have to make the phone calls or the plans or you would hardly ever hear from them.
Why does it seem like women that are still raising kids are often “too busy” for their friends? Does this get better when you become an empty nester?
When I was in my 20’s, it was necessary for me to have friends that wanted to have fun. Now I need more than that. I need meaningful conversation and deep-felt connection. I need a friend that is willing to be vulnerable with me and share what they are going through not just surface talk:
How are you?
Good just really busy.
So what’s new?
I am just running the kids around, the usual.
But how are YOU doing?
I’m fine just trying to get stuff done.
OK, great talk.
I think an open, honest conversation is necessary to improve this human flaw.
Studies have shown that it is vital to a person’s well being to have friendships. God made us for connection and to love others! A tight bond can add so much to your life. My core group of friends is indeed a blessing in my life. I have friends from childhood, high school, college, and adulthood. Some have known me for the entire ride which is super cool. Some have known me for most of it and some I am still getting to know. I love them all, and I am grateful for what each of them adds to my life.
February is not only the month of Galentine’s Day it is the month of love. Do I think we need a specific month to celebrate our girlfriends? I guess not! But I do think it gives you an excellent excuse to make this a priority in your life. Reach out to someone you have been missing. Reach out to someone that you would like to get to know better. Ask someone for forgiveness. Ask someone if you both can hit the restart button.
If you are comfortable, please let me know how it goes. I would love to pray for you and that relationship in your life. If you are looking to make some new friends this year I would love to hang out with you at the Created Order Conference in June. I know we are all going to walk away from that event friends for life 🙂